


Don't Hold This War Inside

by leanconnoli



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: "cure" serum from DoFP, Ficlet, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past, Pre-X-Men: Apocalypse (2016), Written by someone who has not seen X-Men Apocalype, minor character injury, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 06:32:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14731748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leanconnoli/pseuds/leanconnoli
Summary: Charles and Erik are captured for unknown reasons and imprisoned together. As Charles' serum wears off, Erik tries to comfort him, and they both come to terms with their ill-fated love.





	Don't Hold This War Inside

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in 2015, sometime after seeing DoFP. I stumbled across it recently and liked it enough to post, only three years late! I don't remember if I ever intended to go into more detail about how they came to be captured or how they got out, but upon rediscovering it I decided to just leave the ficlet as is. I didn't really think the capture or escape was really relevant to this fic as much as the feeling and discussions they are forced to face.
> 
> Title is from "Come Back When You Can" by Barcelona, which I think is a great song in general, but I think also applies pretty well to Charles' feelings towards Erik, and also Raven to an extent.

“Bastards took my helmet.” Erik muttered dazedly, rubbing the bruise forming on the back of his head. When he got out of here, he was going to leave absolutely no witnesses. It wouldn’t do him any good to have his enemies  _ or  _ his allies hearing about Magneto being brought down by nothing but a wooden bat and the element of surprise.  _ How inelegant _ , he thought.  _ If you’re going to be a villain, at least have a little class. _

 

Shaking his head to clear the last of the fog, Erik focused instead on the small room’s other occupant. Charles had remained unchanged since Erik woke, pacing at the far end of the room like a caged animal. In a way, he supposed that’s exactly what they were. The blow to the head had taken him a while to recover from, but he could not sense any metal nearby. Whoever had taken them had clearly done their homework.

 

“Charles.” Erik tried, weary of watching his frantic motions, but he was ignored.

 

“Sit down Charles,” he insisted, noticing a slight limp in Charles’ gait. “There’s no sense in wasting your energy. Who knows what these people are planning.”  _ You would _ , Erik thought bitterly,  _ if you hadn’t traded away your greatest gift like a fool. _

 

Charles shot him a sharp glare without breaking stride, but still did not speak. Erik sighed and tried to find a more comfortable position on the dirt floor. His head thudded against the stone behind him as he closed his eyes and focused on his powers. Surely even a stone hut seemingly in the middle of nowhere had  _ something  _ he could use to escape. He had people counting on him, after all. He had sworn to himself that he would not lose his Brotherhood as he had the last group of young mutants that had chosen to follow him.

 

He pushed his powers to their limits, his desperation only increasing as he found nothing.  _ How could there be nothing?  _ Erik clenched his hands into fists. It didn’t matter. He would kill them with his bare hands then. They were fools for thinking they could hold him here. He opened his mouth to warn Charles against interfering when the cowards finally showed their faces, but was interrupted by his friend crashing unceremoniously to the floor.

 

“Charles!” Erik cried, scrambling to his side across the cold, hard ground.

 

“Don’t touch me!” Charles snarled as he reached out. Erik flinched, pulling his hand back but continuing to look him over for injuries. He inched as close as he could, his brow furrowed with concern.

 

He had come to accept that he would always care for Charles, always worry for him. He had tried and failed, that day on the beach when they first said goodbye, to cut out the part of him that loved Charles. He had tried every day since then, and yet so much of his soul was tied up in this infuriating man whose beliefs went against everything he stood for. 

 

Charles shuddered and reached for his head, groaning in a way that confirmed Erik’s suspicions.

 

“It’s the serum, isn’t it?” He asked softly, hesitantly reaching out again, letting his hand hover in the space between them and settling it on the Charles’ shoulder when he offered no protest. “It’s worn off.”

 

Charles grunted in what Erik assumed was agreement, before convulsing violently. His hands clenched in his hair as he clawed at his scalp, groaning in agony as the powers he has suppressed for months on end came rushing back in full force.

 

“Whoa there, easy Charles.” Erik urged, catching him as he pitched forward and pulling the trembling man back against his chest. He pinned Charles against him as he writhed, searching for a way to distract him from the pain. Charles had always been so much better at this than him. He always knew what to say to help a fellow mutant calm their fears, find their peace, and reach their full potential. He would give anything to know how to do that for Charles right now.

 

“It’s alright.” He soothed. “Just breathe. I’ve got you.” Erik shifted them, leaning back against the nearest wall with Charles held against his chest. The position reminded him of that painful day on the beach so long ago, but he banished the ache of the memory away to focus on the task at hand.

 

“Listen to me Charles. I need you to focus.” Those dazzling blue eyes parted and slowly focused on his face. “We’ll get out of here and you’ll get your medicine, you just need to hold on. Why don’t you tell me about Raven?”

 

“Raven?” Charles asked softly, his face twisted in discomfort. He was still breathing heavily, but his body had lost some of its rigidity and was slowly relaxing into his arms.

 

“Yes, Raven. What was she like when you were children? A little hellion, I’m sure.”

 

Charles chuckled weakly. “You’d think so, but she wasn’t really.” He was still shaking slightly, and he touched his temple with a wince before continuing. “She was always scared that I’d grow tired of her and toss her out on her own again. I don’t think anyone’s ever had a more doting sister. But it always made me guilty, as if she thought she had to be kind and sweet so I would keep her around. I never wanted her to feel like she couldn’t be herself around me. I loved her. I wanted her to be happy. I still do.”

 

Charles trailed off and Erik pulled him closer, settling him fully in his grasp. The shaking was slowing and his body was mostly limp, but Charles’ face still revealed acute discomfort.

 

“I miss her too, you know.” Erik murmured. Charles nodded against his chest, then tensed up as another wave of agony hit his mind. Erik silently held him as he shuddered. When it was over, Charles went boneless, his face haggard.

 

“Do you ever wonder what it would’ve been like if we’d been human?” Charles’ voice was soft, muffled against Erik’s shirt.

 

Erik considered this. If he hadn’t been a mutant, he would have died in the Nazi camps. He highly doubted that was the answer Charles was looking for, so he thought beyond that. Erik tried to imagine a world where he was without his powers, where he would not need to consider humans his enemies. He imagined a world where he would not find himself opposing the one he held most dear, a world where he and Charles could find peace together. It was an appealing thought.

 

“If we had been human, once I’d found you I never would have left your side.” Erik admits, looking down earnestly at Charles. “I would’ve given myself to you, heart and soul.”

 

Charles’ squeezed his eyes shut and clenched a fist in Erik’s shirt, awash with pain once again. Only this time it was of the soul rather than the mind. With his regained powers, he could feel every thought of love, pain, and regret flowing off of Erik and echoing the thoughts in his own head.

 

“I’m sorry that it can’t be that way, my friend.” Charles whispered. Erik said nothing, choosing instead to lean down and press his lips tenderly to the Charles’ forehead. He lingered for a moment, then pulled back and began to lift Charles upright. 

 

“We need to find a way out of here.” Erik said gently, his arms still wrapped around Charles loosely. “Are you alright?”

 

For a moment, Charles let himself cling tighter to Erik, to soak in his warmth and imagine a world where they could let themselves have this. Then he nodded his head, straightened up, and turned his mind to the task at hand.

 

It did him no good to wallow in daydreams. There always came a moment where he would have to let Erik go.


End file.
